You turn on the TV and every show has a gay character. They make it look so easy. But this is your life, and you feel very much alone in your struggle at school, at home ... and especially at church. TV isn’t exactly realistic when it comes to figuring out your sexual identity.
The media doesn’t say it is ok or not ok. It’s in TV shows as just being. It implies that it does not matter.
- Elizabeth, 12 It doesn’t start at birth. But it does start early.What you’re feeling is far too deep and powerful to handle in an article (or even a series). But I guarantee you weren’t born this way. The roots of same-sex attractions can stem so far back that this is your deep down belief, so it is totally understandable. You don’t remember feeling normal, so this just eventually became your new normal.
Almost all TV shows or movies have at least one gay character. Love interests used to automatically be the opposite sex, but now, it isn’t what you’ve grow up with. You can choose.
- Kelvin, 21 It’s not about sex. I think 90 percent of this same-sex attraction stuff is the expression of a hunger to really matter, to fit, to belong to somebody. Emotional deprivation expresses itself in many ways, including sexually.
It is used a lot as comedy. One of my favorite shows, “The Office,” has many gay jokes and plot points. Also, many recent movies (even kids’ movies) have subtle gay jokes that only adults or mature teens understand.
- Sarah, 17
Walking out is a process.
You can find genuine change in a spiritual event, but there’s more to it. The enemy will always revisit this with you, even years down the road. The lifestyle is so tied up in your self-worth that it keeps you in the habit of the hunt: pickup lines and inviting looks and little flirtatious nuances. Sometimes you want to see if you’ve still “got it.” Never underestimate the power of the word “no.” You do have options. “Yes” isn’t your only choice.
In my criminal justice class, we debate if gay marriage should be legalized. Some of the things people say shock me, like “Jesus had two dads, why can’t I?” [Editor’s note: referring to God the Father and Joseph] which is from “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.” I DO believe everyone is equal and deserves to be treated that way, but I DO believe man is made for woman. Why would God make someone be something He says is a sin?
- Sarah, 17
Keep walking toward Jesus, and you’ll recover your true identity.
When temptation comes back — and it always does — be honest with yourself. “Yes, I want that more than anything right now, but I’m saying no.” There is such power in that, because that invites the Holy Spirit to come in like a rush. Every individual step in the right direction puts you closer to freedom. One day you’ll look back and won’t be able to identify with who you once were. Those individual steps win the war, so take them. Don’t let the enemy keep you close to that problem, hiding under the shadow of its secrecy.
About Danny Wallace After surviving a childhood of unspeakable abuse, Danny Wallace spent 25 years struggling with his sexual identity. He is an author of MASKquerade: The Autobiography of Danny Wallace (which is being launched as a major motion picture), speaker and currently regarded as one of the leading authorities on the issue of homosexuality as it affects the church today. He is a speaker, writer, minister and musician, and lives with his wife Lynn in Atlanta. Hear his full testimony at http://www.dannywallace.org
ONCOURSE magazine Spring/Summer 2010 with Danny Wallace.
Check back for the May 2010 issue of ONCOURSE UNBOXED: SAME SEX CRUSH
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